Reawakening....

Whats good kinfolk. Well, as you can see I'm finally making my return to posting on this thing. And well, let me first apologize for not being on here since....good lawd, February? Well, that almost seems about right, because it was back in February when I slipped up again. Yeah, needless to say, these past few months have been pretty messed up.

Around the middle of February, I had gotten back into an addiction that I've pretty much been trapped in since late my 9th grade year. I was cool for about...3 months. Didnt look at a single picture or a single vid. And then for some odd reason, somethin just snapped inside of me and I got right back into that mess. I've talked to a few of my closest friends and they know exactly what that thing was. Note that was is the key phrase in that statement. I'll get into that later.

Also, I've been doing alot of thinking in my life. As many of you know, I had a dream of being in the professional wrestling business. My life was pro wrestling. And well, dont get me wrong I'd still love to run my own wrestling organization in the future, but thats after I have enough money to be able to afford it. But right now, it isnt the time.

Basically what I'm getting at is there are alot of changes that I've been needing to make. And it took God speaking through not only a Student Ministry leader, but through my kids, and looking into a special persons eyes...that made me realize that I needed to change.

For a month at New Spring, on Wednesday night we've been doing a series called I <3 Change. And basically, its about cleansing ourselves and admitting all of our dirty habits that are not only displeasing to God, but could eventually hurt other people in the process. For 12 years, I thought this thing I was addicted to wouldnt effect anyone except for myself. Then I talked to one of my Just Us League commanders(for those that dont know, the Just Us League is my 6th Grade Small group)...who was going through the EXACT same thing I'm goin through. To say that bothered me is a deep understatement. I got involved in this stuff in 9th grade. He got involved in it in 6th grade. So yeah, that hurt me DEEPLY. And that was just one of the things that helped me open up my eyes.

I then heard a message where unless we are completely right with God, we pretty much wont go anywhere in life. I sat back and took a look at my life for the past 8 years. I'm still working at Best Buy not making ANY money, I'm still in debt, and I have 2 years before our 10 year reunion at High School and I have absolutely nothing to show for it. And I've let opportunity after opportunity slip through my fingers to get out of this mess that I'm in.

So now...after hearing those messages, and receiving these signs...I have come to realize that its time for a change. If I expect to get out of this mess that I'm in, I need to become FULLY devoted to God. Not just singing his praises, going out there and telling people about him, and all of that other stuff. I need to have my own personal life fixed aswell and I can honestly say my personal life was NOT fixed. And I can honestly say that right now, God has completely cleaned out my closet.

No more will I be looking at girls the wrong way. No longer will I be having lustful thoughts. No longer will I open myself to any type of sexual temptation. I'm still a virgin, but there have been times that I've done things that I shouldnt have. And to this VERY SECOND I feel wrong about them things. I've danced around alot of sinful stuff, and now its just time for me to get away from every single thing that was even a slight temptation.

One thing I've been able to do to help me with this is to spend more time with Christ. If you dont have a daily quiet time with Jesus Christ, I can honestly tell you that you WILL slip up. You dont have to have a specific time that you spend time with Jesus, just make it a priority to spend some time with him. No time limits. Jesus didnt make a time limit to come down here and die on the cross for us. Why should we put a time limit on reading his word. Why should we put a time stamp on when we spend time with him. You can do it whenever you feel like as long as you do it. And dont just read the Bible just to read it and to finish it. Thats one thing thats messed up Christians for so long. They think "awe, I can read through the bible in a year. I can memorize scripture"....so? Do you understand it? God could care less if you read through the entire Bible, and he couldnt even care more about how much you memorize. Whenever God hears someone quote scripture, he's probably up in Heaven doing one of them sarcastic claps saying "woo woo. The whistles go wooo" and then shaking his head in disgust. He wants us to study his word, and if it takes us 20 years to read through just 1 book in the Bible, as long as we understand it, thats all that matters. Dont believe what you've heard all these old people tellin you all these years. Read for yourself and find out what God's word really says.

Another thing that helps me out is looking at a goal. I have a goal, but I'm not going to mention it on here. But I have one particular thing that I'd love to accomplish. But thats only if its God's will. But it seems that God uses this goal to help me stay focused. So, if you have a specific goal whether it be worked related, relationship related, whatever, hand it over to God and he'll use it to help you out.

And finally, a great thing to have is accountability partners. Hopefully folks read this, so I just wanna give much love to my peeps Scott Murray, Tim Webb, Leland T, and Matt Morrison. You guys have helped me out so much within the past month. You've helped me become not only a better man, but a better Christ Follower, and I thank God every day for giving me friends like you. There are others aswell, but you 4 have helped me out so much and theres no way that I can thank you enough. To everyone that helps out with Student Ministry, from Brad Cooper, Crys, Brittney, Ashley, David Fisher, David Hall, Andrew Sentel, and so many others. Thank you, for all of your help, all of your messages, and for being true friends to me. For looking out for me and always helping me out in everything, even when you dont even know it, God used you to help me aswell as many others. And to my Just Us League, you peeps are my family. You're all like my baby brothers and I love each and every one of ya like you're my baby brothers. And hopefully, if its God's will...whenever I have kids, I want them to have atleast a little bit of qualities from each of ya. But you best believe they not gonna be gettin no energy drinks. LOL

So yeah, thats pretty much my life in a nutshell right now. I'm still working on fixing up my life, but I know God's gonna take care of that. I'm stepping down from the wrestling industry for a while, and I'm also gonna see what God has instore for me job wise. Right now I seriously HATE working at Best Buy. But, something happened this past week so who knows whats instore there. I know this much though. Next time God opens up a door for me....I'm not gonna let it shut in my face. Its time to do what God wants me to do.

Well, until next time, I'll holla at yall later. Peace Out!